PSYCHOTHERAPY

If you've found your way here, you're probably feeling vulnerable. Maybe something has happened to disrupt your life. Or you're realizing that you're stuck in some way. Perhaps you are hurting inside, feeling anxious and/or depressed. Whatever the cause, you've woken to the necessity for change and are seeking psychotherapy to assist and support you through it. Congratulations! It takes courage to reach out and ask for help. I know it is scary to open up and let a stranger into your inner world. So let me reassure you.

Finding the right psychotherapist for you.

Over and over again, the research has shown that the single most important factor in the outcome of psychotherapy is the quality of the relationship between the therapist and client. So in looking for a therapist, it is essential that you feel connected and safe with the person you choose. Whether that turns out to me or not, I encourage you to find someone with whom you have this experience. Trust yourself. I always view our first session as an opportunity to find out if it's a good fit for us. And it's okay to go away and contemplate it afterwards. It's important for it to feel right.

We now know that we are wired to connect. From the time in the womb to our last dying breath, our quality of life, health and well-being is inextricably linked to our relationships with others. We learn how to connect from our earliest relationships in life and often that can be the source of our difficulties. A good therapeutic relationship, one in which you feel safe, connected and supported, can help heal the early wounding that is hampering you now and change those early imprints. You deserve to thrive, not just survive.

How does change happen?

Psychotherapy has come a long way in the last twenty years and we have learned that change takes more than talking or analysis. It requires having new experiences that actually change the way your brain is wired. So I work experientially to facilitate this process. I do this through our relationship and also by using techniques that bring your whole being into psychotherapy, integrating mind, body, and emotions. This way we get to the root of your issues more quickly at the same time as tapping into a rich pool of your own resources and wisdom. All the sages over the ages have agreed that everything we need to heal and transform is already within us. The tricky part has always been how to access it. It's like the baby that is born with the potential but needs the right conditions to develop into a thriving adult. So much of what comprises the right conditions is the primary caretaker. In a similar way, my job is to help you dip into and develop your connection to this vast reservoir.

I view myself as a companion on the path, someone who listens deeply, engages fully and honestly, and facilitates a process of inquiry and self-exploration. I hold the space for you to discover the gifts hidden within your current situation and help you stay with your experience and work through difficult emotions so you don't have to be alone with them. Sometimes this means challenging limiting beliefs or ideas about yourself and/or the world, but often these simply change organically as do you through having new experiences.

What do you mean by “new experiences?”

By working with the body and the emotions in psychotherapy and not just talking it out, you will experience yourself in a different way than you usually do. You will bring awareness to processes inside you that usually go on unconsciously, and get access to information and parts of yourself that are beneficial to growth and change. You may discover how you organized yourself around your early life experiences but more importantly have new and different experiences to facilitate a more healthy reorganization. This way you don't get lost in the past. You will learn to trust the natural movement of your emotions, sensations, and energy so they don't get stuck but keep moving you forward in life. And by bringing mindful attention to all these processes, you will develop more compassion and acceptance for yourself.

How do you work with the body?

The most basic way I work with the body is to ask you to bring attention and awareness to what is going on inside it. It's so easy to get caught up in our thoughts, or even our emotions, and forget that we have a body, but there is deep wisdom embedded there. Research is now showing that the neural networks of our hearts and our guts are quite complex and strongly interact with our brains. Our colloquial language even acknowledges it when we talk about feeling or knowing something in our gut, or speak of our heart's desire.

Another way I work with the body is to use touch and/or movement. In the case of touch, you would lie on the massage table, fully clothed, and with your direction and permission I would use my hands to help facilitate a deeper listening to your body. You can read more about this on my bodywork page. With movement, I watch for subtle shifts in your energy or movements and encourage you to amplify and explore what they are expressing.

What if I'm not comfortable being touched or moving?

It's not necessary to do either of these. Anything we do is always collaborative and with your full permission and consent. Sometimes I ask people to use their own hands to touch themselves. For example, it might be very soothing to put your hand on your heart when you are feeling hurt or upset. Touch in itself can be very healing but only when it is wanted. I recognize that many people have been hurt by unwanted touch, or physical or sexual abuse so I am always respectful of your boundaries. There is no pressure to do anything that does not feel comfortable to you and I always ask. Sometimes just exploring the “no” that comes up in response to an inquiry can be very healing in itself.

What about medication?

If you are currently taking psychotropic medication, that is between you and your prescribing doctor. Research shows that a combination of medication and psychotherapy is better than medication alone. You might find after a while, depending on your diagnosis and the type of medication you are taking, that you'll be able to cut down the dose and eventually go off it. If you are not on medication, but think you might need it, I suggest waiting until we've met so we can assess it together. My general attitude is that sometimes the right medication at the right time and the right dose can be beneficial, providing support to do the inner work, but that for most people, it's not actually needed.

How long will therapy take and when will I know when I'm done?

This is different for everyone. I've had people get what they need in a few sessions and others have worked with me for several months and sometimes even years. A lot depends on you. Some people are mainly interested in ridding themselves of symptoms which can sometimes happen fairly quickly, though not always. Other people are desiring a deeper change that takes them to a whole new level of living. This usually takes longer, though again not always. So much depends on the readiness to change which often isn't under our conscious control.

When change becomes a joy and an adventure chosen rather than something foisted on you by circumstances or conditions, I know we've turned a corner and my work is almost over. It never ceases to amaze me how profoundly people change when they are fully met right where they are and given the right conditions in which to flourish. I want for you to thrive in your life and will do whatever I can to help that happen.

Call 505-577-4607 or email me to schedule an appointment or for more information.